As usual, I should be in bed. Just a quick update for my invisible and/or imaginary readers:
My job is soon to be gone. All the temps on my shift got the axe today, and the low-seniority full-time folks like me will be next to go. I expect my sixty-day notice any day now. We weren't expected to last past January anyhow. I've known that for a while, but it didn't really hit me. I don't know if it really has, still. I hate that. I'm gonna try to stick around for the severance, which is a $250 lump sum bonus and an additional three weeks of full pay after lay-off. Not the greatest, but it would help a lot. Needless to say, I'll also be pulling unemployment again. My benefit amount should be near $200 a week this year. And I'll be putting in resumes like crazy for new jobs. Hoping to land something first shift this time. This getting home at 11:30-midnight shit has got to stop. I need some time to look forward to after work.
Other than that...bought Skyrim (I really shouldn't have spent that money). Can't play it. :/ I need a much better video card, and the one that will work the best for the best price will run me a good two-hundred bucks. Plus $20 or so for a bigger power supply to support it. Gar. I may hit up Micro Center on Black Friday for those, and then I know someone who will install them for me for free. I shouldn't spend that money. I should be hoarding for the winter, what with diminishing work hours, shorter checks, and the impending lay-off, but I just can't bring myself to give a fuck. I want my Skyrim, damn it. THEN I'll be done spending. Until April. u___u
Anything else? Well, still feeling kinda lonely. Hoping that people aren't out and about spreading too many lies about me. They said they were going to go and tell people I'm a creepy stalker. So far, I've heard nothing from anyone. I hope they just drop it and grow up a little. I didn't do anything. I'm not a psycho, like some people for some reason like to think. People don't like me, I leave them alone. *shrug* I'm a very peaceable person. Maybe that's why people like to fuck with me? I just especially hate it when they drag unrelated people into it. You got a beef with me, come to me about it. Seriously. Leave other people out of it.
All in all, I'm pretty blank and numb. Life is passing damn fast. I'm already 22, and I don't remember the majority of what I've done in my life so far. I don't have a clue what I want to do with the rest of it, aside from making some friends. This year is almost over. It seems just yesterday I was celebrating the new year with my friend from work. No...that was two years ago. Fuck. The work week passes in a blur, and the weekend goes by faster. And I accomplish nothing. I feel nothing. I feel like I'm wasting a lifetime, but I don't honestly give a fuck. I'm expending all my time and energy on just basic survival, making it through the day. Always hoping tomorrow brings something better, but that's the funny thing about tomorrow...it's always a day away. I don't like living like this, but at the same time, I don't care. I don't feel a thing. I wish I could care. This isn't right. I don't know what to do. I wish something would happen to point me in the right direction. I don't feel like doing anything at all, and that will be my undoing eventually. I need purpose. Drive. If anyone hears me...help.
Shit, I gotta go to bed. I seriously need to stop staying up so late.
Remember us, and all we used to be...
- Make it quick